


Oblivious

by Clary4ever_wait_for_Kanekivali_in_Tokyo



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Cinematic record, Deathgod style's Kuroshitsuji, Future Fic, Gore, M/M, Romance, Self-cest, Tokyo Ghoul: re, Toukyou Kushu, Tragedy, Violence, Yandere, tokyo ghoul - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-22 17:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2515241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clary4ever_wait_for_Kanekivali_in_Tokyo/pseuds/Clary4ever_wait_for_Kanekivali_in_Tokyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki Ken forgot something. What's thing? He don't know. When he thought about things he have forgotten, he felt a little heartbroken...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something he forgot

**Author's Note:**

> Frankly, I do not know what the hell i am writing. Do not hit me if you do not like this fic. I did the best I could. This is the first time I write fic and I'm Vietnamese, so if there are errors in grammar or in the fic, I hope people will not unpleasant. I have not read the manga OTL

Kaneki Ken forgot something. What's thing? He don't know. He tried searching but still no results.  
This morning he woke up. Empty-  
minded, vague and pain. He frowned, rubbed aching temples  
before leaving the bed to the bathroom. A yawning softly, full of toothpaste  
squeezed his brush into his mouth to  
start brushing. Then he looked at the  
mirror, very surprised to see a few  
bruises on his face.  
His left eye reddened even more. The  
wound does not really hurt unless he  
press on. But it still makes he wonder  
what he had done that get them. Fall? No, may be he is clumsy but not to that level. Fight? No way! He never do that. So why? He didn't know as he didn't know what he had forgotten. Those two thing are necessarily related to each other. Kaneki is a normal university student, who you can find anywhere, with a normal life if he don't want to tell boring.

Each day that passes are alike,  
peaceful and calm. He go to school, go to  
the library, the bookstore and go home, repeated as a cycle. And with life style like that, how the hell he didn't notice or had no memory about it when something  
strange happened to him. Everything as if he woke up this  
morning and bang! They were there, do  
not know what or who caused and was  
only discovered when he looked into the  
mirror. He sighed as he closed the first  
aid box. Despite only a few small  
bruises, but they still make him look like him had  
just returned after a scuffle. Hide   
called he two telephone calls. He must have worried about his best friend. So he texted Hide a message before taking the bag and quickly left the apartment. He do not want to be late.

"I'm sorry for not listening to your phone, Hide. There are some things happened and I ... was distracted."

"Never mind. It does not matter. Yesterday you were sick and now when I call you do not pick up. I think there is a bad thing to happen. Everything is still okay?

"Don't worry, I'm fine, just a little tired. Perhaps due to lack of sleep."

"Are you sure, Kaneki?"

"Sure."

"Okay. Want some coffee to sober? I will buy for both of us.What type of coffee do you want?" 

"Thank you, Hide" - Kaneki think a bit before typing text - "I want a black coffee without sugar." 

"Black Coffee without sugar? Ok. See you at school."

"I didn't know you like coffee without  
sugar. I think you like sweeter, add a  
little cream. But it doesn't matter." - Hide gave Kaneki the can, then  
pointed to the wounds on his face,  
frowning softly - "What did you do with your face ?"   
Kaneki scratched his  
head, a little embarrassed. He also didn't know where they came from.

"This morning... I stum...stumbled. And here is the result."

Kaneki sighed, after efforts to find the most logical reason for being able to talk to Hide.

"You should be more careful, Kaneki. Is there anywhere be hurt?"

"I know. Except my face, nowhere to be hurt."

He sighed again.Strange bruises. Strange habit. He does not like coffee without sugar. But he still drink it, as a habit has been a long time. What else? A stranger will call some strange phone calls to him like horror movies: "When the stranger call"? 

Hide put his hand on his shoulder, giggling.   
"Stop feeling bad so early in the morning instead. Just smile and everything will be all right."   
"I hope so." Kaneki replied weakly.  
The lessons became extremely boring . Kaneki almost can not learn, can not hear what the teacher is teaching. His mind was a mess hours as a jumble. He tried to remember last night to see what he had done. Last night after dinner, he went to the convenience store to buy some items, then went home, read the book that borrow from the library and finally went to bed. Everything is perfectly normal. At least according to what he knew.  
Kaneki frowned, uncomfortable with the thought of all that had happened in a way that he can not explain. He know something is wrong, but not knowing or rather forget what is wrong? Beside him, Hide lying on the table to write. He must have been bored. No sooner had last lesson started than Hide suddenly poked Kaneki's arm with a pen:  
"Hey, Kaneki ..."   
Kaneki tilted his head to the side, waiting for him to say.

"After school we will go to Big Girl, won't we?"

"Okay. If you want, Hide."

 

Only a few days that make Kaneki feel like he have not come to Big Girl for a long time. The atmosphere is warm and familiar . Food smells delicious, cute uniforms, the soft-spoken. Aaww - Kaneki thought - he likes them. After calling two hamburgers, they're chatting. Hide tell him about what happend when he wasn't at school, about the song he just heard or a plot in the movie he just watched. Everything is always like this. Hide is always talker and Kaneki is always intent listener. It  
is nice to hear him talk one again. Right now, Kaneki is paying attention to Hide's voice than what he is talking about. Kaneki's shoulders is suddenly shaken so much. 

"Kaneki, Kaneki, wake up. You didn't hear me, did you?"

Kaneki's confused:

"I'm ... so...sorry, Hide."  
Hide sighed.

"What's wrong with you? Still tired? You seem distracted."

"I just ..."

"You just what? Is thinking about a girl or remembering your Ka-mi- shi- ro?" - Hide sly grined.

"Hide, please stop it. It's been over a year now. If you refer Kamishiro-san again, I will cry." 

Yes. They're talking about Kamishiro Rize. More than a ye ar ago, Kaneki met her at a coffee shop and have a crush on her. They had arranged an  appointment but that day Kaneki came late and did not see her. He also  lost her phone number and never met her in  Anteiku cafe or anywhere.

"Okay. I'll stop. But ... - Hide tried not to laughing - you are truly an unlucky man." 

"Hide ..." - Kaneki whine.

"All right, all right, you heard the news about the cafe we used to come?"

"You mean Anteiku?"

"Yeah. Everyone said it was the ghoul's ca fe. Sounds scary, huh?"

Kaneki nodded. He could not believe he have been to a place like that. Did he see how many ghouls in Anteiku? That it is no longer important. CCG has treated it. Now his mind is confused by the weird things happening to him. Kaneki swallowed hard  before opening mouth:

"Hide, Have you ever knew you forgot something, but did not know you forgot what's thing yet?"   


Hide eyebrow raised:   


" How do you know you forgot something if you did not know what is thing? "

" I just know it. I think it certainly is important. "

"Do not worry. Maybe at the appropriate time you will remember it. You was negligent because of it?

"Yeah. When I think about it I feel a little ..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Kaneki did not finish the sentence. When he think about things he have forgotten, he felt a little heartbroken...


	2. When the stranger come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been busy this week and could only write this. Too short, too bad. As I've said before, I do not know what I write is ok or not and how I use the words is right or not. If there are errors, please tell me. I would be very grateful to you for it.

All right. Kaneki rubbed his forehead, thought. Just two days, but had enough of the bizarre. He's just a normal college student, live a normal life. If there is anything strange or extraordinary happens in this world, it will happen to others, not someone like him. But life is always full of unexpected turns that nobody can image. Now suppose that this life were a story with Kaneki in the lead role, it could be a crazy horror story.

 

"Be careful, Kaneki. There are many dangers around you. Never caught off guard!"

 

Was one hour from the time he received strange call. Kaneki curled up in blankets was sleeping.

 

"Oshiete yo oshiete yo sono shiku mi wo ..."

 

He woke up, rubbed his eyes for waking before struggling to come out of blankets. 3.00 AM. Who would call at this time? Kaneki was confusing to look at the numbers was blinking on the clock. No one will call at this early morning unless there is important work, usually announce bad news. Not Hide. Staring at the screen with the words: "unknown call" Kaneki hesitated a bit before pressing the button to listen. About five seconds before the unknown person started talking. Despite a light moment but Kaneki could hear him took a deep breath as if he was just determined to do something that should be not done.

 

"Be Careful, Kaneki ..."

 

His heart almost stopped beating when he heard ҆that voice. As something's sharp through his mind, Kaneki became alert and agitated than ever. Oh My God! He covered his mouth, body was trembling with agitation. Kaneki know this voice. He pretty sure about that. But who? who is that? Aish! he can not remember. What reason makes him can not remember the owner of this voice right now? He asked himself again and again. After all who is that? Not until that voice called his name again, did he leave off thinking about it.

 

"Hey, Ken, Ken Kaneki, are you still hearing me?"

 

"Ye ... yes .." - Kaneki showed a puzzled expression on his face.

 

The stranger sighed.

 

"I'll say it again. Remember, Kaneki, never caught off guard."

 

After the stranger hung up the phone and he finally could calm down, Kaneki started thinking about what the stranger said.

 

"He told me to be careful. What does that mean?" - Kaneki frowned - "Tch, I should go out. Maybe the fresh air will make my mind wiser."

 

Kaneki toward the front door, unlocked it and walked out. It was still dim. Overhead the moon is still equivocal behind a thin cloud , light emitted fanciful. Quiet space like paper. Only the wind was blowing gently and the sound of rustling leaves. He took a deep breath, relaxed. Weather quite cold in the early morning, he shivered. But not just because of the cold. Kaneki felt someone was watching him from the roof to the right of the place he was standing. He immediately turned around. And he saw.... He saw nothing except the empty roof and the darkness. He did not turn around fast enough to see a dark shadow was watching him before disappearing into nowhere...

 

***

Recently, Kaneki has a strange dream. In the dream he was sleeping but still could feel everything around. Someone was stroking his hair, gently, slowly. Kaneki never ever feel comfort and peace like that before. The feeling as if he is here, everything will be all right. Kaneki have faith in this person. He wanted to open his eyes to see that person's face, touch his face that he knew it was too familiar to him. But a second before he could do it, a hand gently hid his eyes prevented him from the truth about that face. Eventually he still does not know who he is. But it does not matter anymore. He felt fine, that's the most important thing. Of course, if he can ignore feeling a little heartbroken when that hands covered his eyes. Did he have forgotten something very important that the unknown person did not want him to remember it?

 

  Kaneki know it's crazy, he know his work's hopeless and he's hopeless too but who can knows how to be. Love has never right or wrong. Yes. He had a crush on a person. Who he did not even know his face, in his dreams. Sounds weird, but from the start there was nothing normal. He treated him like a lover. Stroked his hair, hummed a lullaby tune for him to hear, which his mother used to sing a lot of times when he was young. And now what else? A kiss on the back of his hand? Kaneki's face flushed as he remembered it. Kaneki remembered he had read in a book: "If someone kisses your hand, which means he both respect and admire you. Respect him? Admire him? Love him? How could something like this happen? That evening, as usual, he came. He did not start humming a melody softly when stroked his hair again. Only rubbed his head gently and quietly. Pretty soon, he started talking. This is the first time Kaneki actually hear his voice.  

  


"I should not be here" - He sighed - "At first, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. But then I realized I visit you every day. I want to be with you more and more. Time is almost over. Maybe we will never see again. God, look at me, Kaneki, I became selfish. I said that i would not regret anything in exchanging for the second opportunity, but this time ..."

 

 

He did not finish sentences. Kaneki could not see it but could feel he is very sad.   
A quiet moment before he grabbed his hand, pressed his cool, soft cheek and then placed a light kiss on it.

 

"Good night, Kaneki." - He whispered

 

After that, as usual, he left.   
Kaneki embarrassed. He looked no different from a red ripe tomatoes. Everything is so real. He buried his face in his hands, groaned. This is just fiction. He knew that. But everything is too real to the point ... His eyes widened when he saw objects on the table. The book is titled: "The Black Goat's Egg". Last night, he had read that book again. Because he lost it's book mark so he still left the page he were reading halfway. Right now, it is folded, placed neatly on the table. No one did this at all. Not him. Not Hide. Two days he was busy with his essay, did not come Kaneki's apartment at all. And no one in his room. If his suspicions are correct, someone was actually here. May be the person in his dreams.... 


	3. The meeting at the midnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A nice" kushu-don "" parodied "A nice" KABE-don"".
> 
> If you can not imagine Shiro's mask, it looks like this.
> 
> http://www.zerochan.net/1057471

Now it is midnight. Kaneki lazily watched the blinking numbers on the clock's face. This time he must have been asleep already. Rather than was sitting here and waiting.  
Yes. He has work to do. His book on the table the day before had been folded that proved someone really got into his room. Just based on a book and concluded is not unfounded inference. Kaneki didn't touch it. His bedroom is closed, absolutely no wind entered. Unless neither did a hand or foot grow out of the book and folded itself nor did someone he didn't know fold it.  
After thinking and consider all possible cases can happen that he decided to ambush. Placed the dummy on the bed, hid in dark corners, was waiting for that person come. Everything did not go smoothly as he thought. Black haired boy felt tired, very tired. He was not used to staying up late, he can nod off at any time. The weather is quite cold at night. He felt cold and uncomfortable, too. If he can not find out anything tonight, maybe he should ask Hide about a few tracking tricks or check if anyone got into the room or not. He was always much better than him in detective role. And he is more interested. Totally opposed to him. Many times Kaneki was wondering how two people are so different could become close friends for so long?

 

Until the brunette almost fell asleep, he suddenly heard a sound "click" minor. Despite a tiny sound, because it sounded in quiet space so became a lot bigger. It had reached Kaneki's ear. Someone unlocked the front door of the apartment. Kaneki recalled he lost the spare keys few days ago, exactly on the day of the strange bruises appeared on his face. He did not think that the key was gone because someone took it. He got up, held his breath, his heart palpitations. It took a few seconds for that person to go from the living room to the brunette's bedroom. The door was pushed gently, with Kaneki hid behind it.  
Who entered the room was a teenager. He thought after glancing at his figure. He wore a pure white kimono, hair is white as snow. Barefoot steps very gently without causing a noise.  
When he came to the middle of the room, he suddenly stopped, tilted his head to the side saying:

 

"Come out. Do not hide anymore. I know where you are now."

 

Black haired boy left his hiding place when he turned around to face him. Kaneki finally able to see his face. But he immediately felt disappointed. His face was covered by a mask. A square pure white cloth as his clothing, with the word "Shiro" on the front. Now he understood the strap in the back of his head is what. The strap of the mask.

Shiro (temporary Kaneki will call him like that) buried his face in his hands as if he was extremely helpless:

 

"Are you an idiot, Kaneki? I said that did not mean I actually know where you are. Even though I knew the thing on the bed is not you but still unspecified your hiding place. You revealed your hiding place yourself. "

 

He sighed.

 

"Moreover, you knew an intruder broke into your house at night. Your observation is okay, but you were too careless. You faced him without preparation. You did not know he came here in good faith or maliciously, right? I remember i reminded you of being careful before that. "

 

A voice suddenly swept through his mind. Kaneki's eyes widened.

 

"You... you was the one who called me that night."

 

"Of course I am. If not Hide, then anyone but me will remind you of your negligence."

 

Black haired boy bit his lip. He was right. Kaneki only thought of how to catch him, but he never thought about after catching him, what he would do? Even if he gave him enough good feeling to turn into intense emotions such as like, or love, he is still a stranger for him right now. He did not pay attention to this. He should have been more careful.

After a few minutes of thought, he hesitated a bit before timidly asked. Work's needed doing still had to be done before.

 

"Please tell me who are you and what are you doing here? What did the things you said that night mean?"

 

"You can call me Shiro. I'm a friend of yours. A friend visited one another that is normal."

 

The white-haired boy walked towards the bed and sat at his bedside.

 

"And what I said that night meant... - he put his hand on his chin, pretend to think - if I say that i told you never caught off guard so that you can stay away from the things like me, what will you think?"

 

After that, he pulled the mask aside a little, enough for he to see his left eye. Black and red.

 

"Ghoul ..." - Kaneki whispered, unable to believe his eyes.

 

Space was gradually thickening until became dark black left only the only one bright spot was the red iris. He felt breathless as if the air had been drained. The human have stood motionless for five seconds before running towards the door as quickly as possible.

Bang!

When his hand almost touching the door handle, Kaneki was arrested. He was pushed quite hard into the door. The ghoul cornered the human, placing his arms against the door so he cannot escape. A nice “kushu- don”. "How lovely we are." - He self-satire

 

"Don't leave so fast. We still have a lot of things to tell." - His lips curved into a smile.

 

What should he do now? Weeping? Begging? Screaming? No. He will not do anything in the foregoing. Kaneki've read enough horror stories to know that they just gives him a more painful death. They always stimulates the brutal and bloodthirsty instincts of the killers, and all of this shit will end in a tragic, filled with fresh blood scene with him as the main character. He desperately closed his eyes, shivering waiting for what will happen to him.  
But he didn't do anything. The ghoul with a hand up against the door, the other was caressing his cheeks, his jaw gently, carefully as if he was touching the delicate petals easily to be hurt. What is he waiting for? Time passed slowly. Just a few minutes he felt a century had passed. His frantic breath, his heart was beating so fast in his chest like it wants to explode. Nothing can be more frightening than the feeling of waiting the death.

Finally, Shiro laughed: "You needn't fearing me , Kaneki. I will not kill you."

 

"You will not kill me? - Kaneki raised his head to look at him in pain -" You're the ghoul, right? What do you want from me except blood and flesh"

 

Shiro bent down near him, Kaneki could feel his breath on his face.

 

"You." - The white-haired boy murmured.

 

Kaneki shivered, eyes widened with fear. What did he said that mean? Killing him is not bad enough so he wanted to joke around like cat and mouse before he die? But Kaneki was not enough time to think about it. A sudden cold hand placed on his neck. The human startle.

 

"I said that i will not kill you. But I wonder if I actually want to kill you tonight, how do you survive?" - Shiro smirked while his hand began to strangle him.

 

The force is not too strong to suffocate him immediately, but it will gradually make he could not breathe anymore. He wanted him to die slowly under the most painful way. Yeah. This is the end. He is an unlucky man, had unlucky life. He gave up, left himself to the mercy of fate.

 

"Hey Kaneki, you don't want to live? Do you accept this death? By me?" - The ghoul hissed.

 

There was something in his mind was broken. Not true. Wrong. Kaneki want to survive. He did not want to die, right now, by this ghoul, by this pain and bullshit way. He still has a lot of work to do. He want to live! He started struggling as strong as he could. He raking, structuring, pinching, biting, using every way to escape. Of course they do nothing to help him against his strength. He can not win a ghoul. But Shiro still let him out.  
While Kaneki exhaustedly sank on the floor, gasping for air,

 

Shiro gently rubbed his back.

 

"Well done. When someone deliberately stand in your way, making it difficult for you, what you should do is not tolerate or ignore. You have to fight back. Otherwise everything will not end well nice at all. "

 

"Why did you say these things to me?" - Kaneki was sitting on the ground, eyes covered with a steam floor.

 

The white-haired boy approached until he almost hugged the brunette, whispering something just enough for two people to hear. Then he came to the window, jumped off and disappeared into the darkness.

After Shiro left, Kaneki was still sitting on the ground stunned. That night he met a guy, a very strange ghoul. He threatened him scared to death, strangled him, but ultimately he did not kill him. He even attempted to change his style life. Every time he thinks about that he always wondered what the hell happened to him? Why is he so concerned about the way he live.

 

"It's better to be hurt than hurt others" - His mother taught him like that. And he always lives like the phrase.

 

But that ghoul ... Kaneki feel a little embarrassed at the thought of it. His face is slightly red.

 

"Because I can not be here to protect you forever." - Cold soft lips pressed against his ear, whispered.


	4. The nightmares of the rainy nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write a long chapter with much more Kanekicest but because the plot is too silly so this chapter had more length of my expectation And finally ended up I could not finish it as i want to be

It is raining, ever since last night until now. Dark gray sky, being covered by heavy clouds of rain. Wet and cold.  
Kaneki slightly winced. He does not like the rain at all. It is not only inconvenient and uncomfortable for traveling but also adversely affected his mood. This weather made him felt bad, totally bad. The torrential rain like phone calls at midnight rarely signaled anything good.  
Kaneki covered his mouth for a long yawn. Yesterday he was almost awake all night. He could not sleep because of the nightmares. He was tortured by nightmares for a week. Started at the time he did not to visit him anymore. After meeting  
that night, Shiro did not come Kaneki's apartment. He did not specially expect anything. Who wants a ghoul visit his house at midnight? But when he actually did it, Kaneki felt some inadequate. Put it aside, if he does not find a way to stop them, Kaneki will nod off anytime. Every time he wake up, he can not go back to sleep.

 

In that nightmare, black haired boy found himself was sitting on a chair in a white room, completely unfurnished inside it. Even though there is no shackle shackled him, Kaneki tried so hard but did not escape the chair. He was very scared at that time. He heard himself cried, pleaded, screamed, hysterically laughed. The images, sounds was continuously repeated until he opened his eyes, panted, profusely sweated. He often dreams like that.

Just yesterday, a rainy night again, it got worse. Kaneki still was sitting in that white room. The room was slowly falling apart, untill the walls appeared enough large cracks on their surfaces for him could see outside. Every thing is blurred, as if they were hidden by a thin curtain. Sounds and smells are the only two things he felt markedly. The breakdown clanking sound, the crushed, broken objects sound , the sound screaming, shouting, crying. Kaneki even could smell a strong odor in the air. Smell of blood. He felt eyes was burning, body pained intolerably, and his mind was tormented by voices. They haunted him, seduced him, forced him. The black-haired boy wanted them stopped.  
He yelled at them "No!" but they said, "Yes." Spaces suddenly turned upside down, all things inside it were distorted and then crazily rotated as someone put this world in a blender and press the button. Finally every thing before his eyes darkened. Completely dark, no light rays at all.

A gentle female voice whispered in his ear:

 

"Hey, wanna play a game?"

 

And he woke up, realized that he was lying on his bed, gasped for air. The rain was sweet, but the sky is still gray signaled a different storm is coming. Sometimes a few lightning flashed of white light. Kaneki sighed when he pressed the vending machine's button. He needed coffee to sober through the lessons. Black coffee without sugar. Why am I always choosing this drink - he wondered when walking through the university's campus.

The class hours elapsed normally. After school, he went to the library to return the book that he borrowed. A interesting book. Kaneki smiled when he gave the librarian it. Its content is after life. Earlier he met Hide. He looked pretty good except for two small black circles under his eyes. The essay must have exhausted him. After school, Hide decided to go straight home. He wanted to sleep. So both of them goodbye and Kaneki went to the library alone.

 

"Hide, do you know the reasons for a ghoul did not eat a human?"

 

Hide is slumping over a book, looked up, raised an eyebrow at Kaneki. Do not know the reason at the last minute he did not go home and decided to go to the library with him. "I do not want my friend to feel lonely." - He said while he was chuckling. "I probably should be grateful to have a good friend like you." - Kaneki smiled. "Yeah. You should."

 

"What's kind of this question? Are you interested in ghouls, Kaneki?"

 

"Of course not. I'm just curious because a Takatsuki's work told about a cannibal ultimately decided not to eat his victims."

 

"Recently you asked many questions, Kaneki. And they are strange alike. "- Hide said before closing his eyes thinking -" I think there are three reasons."

 

He raised three fingers.

 

"First, eating a human at that time was too dangerous. He or she is paid attention by CCG and reckless actions will cause them to be revealed their true identities and be wanted. Second, that human is not taste of her or him. There are many ghouls eat people bluff, but there are ghouls who are more cautious, more selective or so obsessional with a few characteristics of the victim that they only attack and eat who has that characteristics. and third, it is unlikely but not impossible ... Ah, I forgot! "- Hide suddenly pop up when looking at his watch -" A appointment today with Natsuki-san. "

 

" Who is Natsuki-san? "

 

" A girlfriend who is working at my part-time work's place. Today we agreed to meet in front of the station at five o'clock. I had forgotten and now only leave ten minutes prior to our appointment time. "

 

" Girlfriend? "- Kaneki expressed mischievously -" You two are dating? "

 

"Don't misunderstand Kaneki. A friend is girl. Yesterday our manager ordered us to purchase some items for the store. Goodbye. See you later." - Hide said while quickly walked out of the library.

 

The rain had just stopped. The wind is blow, bringing the smell of rain. The air is fresher, but colder. The darkness is slowly covering every corner of the big city. Some street lights are emitting yellow weak light. The black-haired boy rubbed his hands together to make them warm up.

"I should go home earlier. The book I found today was so good that I could not put it down until i finished reading the last chapter. And now it's evening." - He thought as he walked faster on the street.

 

After meeting Shiro, Kaneki certainly doesn't want to encounter any other ghouls. One ghoul is enough. He can completely lose his live.

 

Bang!

 

Something suddenly bumped into him and he fell. The brunette slightly winced because of a strong blow before looking at the thing just hit him. A young woman, about twenty years old or more than that. She has bright red hair, beautiful face, eyes chicle - brown sweet ..... and she is crying. Kaneki is sheepish. He was afraid to see girl crying.

 

"Are you okay? Is there any where be hurt? I ... I'm sorry."

 

"No. It's not your fault. I am the person who should apologize. Sorry for bumping into you. I just ..." - she sobbed.

 

"What's wrong with you?" - Kaneki anxiously asked.

 

"I just lost engagement ring. It is very important to me."

 

He sighed.

 

"Where did you see it at the last time?"

 

"Right in the front alley. I'm back to that place to find it."

 

"I will find with you." Young woman had little surprise. "You needn't do that. I do not want to disturb you."

 

"It's very important to you, isn't it? Two people search more easily than the one do."

 

"Thank you." - She muttered.

 

It's okay. Kaneki thought. She seems to be a good person. And he can not leave this poor woman. Before he realized it, both of them went into the crooked dim alley.

 

"What's your name nice guy?"

 

"My name is ..." - A voice swept over Kaneki's mind: "Never caught off guard!", so he blurted out: "Shiro."

 

"I'm Miyako. Nice to meet you." - She smiled. The two shook hands. After a few minutes of searching,Kaneki detected an little object flashed light in a corner.

 

"Hey Miyako- san, I think I found your ring." - He said as he picked up the ring.

 

"Thank God. Thank Shiro- san." - Miyako ran towards him. By this time, he noticed a sticky dark red liquid on the ring. Blood. He startled, dropped it.

 

"That's very kind of you to help me find the ring. Now, you will be happy to become my dinner, won't you ?"

 

His heart stopped, he looked up. Miyako- san's eyes turned to red and black. He felt a strong kick to his chest as his back hit into the behind wall. The black- haired boy winced in pain. But he stood up immediately. Damn. He put himself in danger again. Run or die. Of course he chose run. That kick caused him much more injuries than he thought. He just enough to dodge in time before she cut off his legs with her kagune. An ax kagune form. It was still able to leave a thin gash on his legs. Kaneki could feel hot blood was dripping down. It too hurt. He struggled to stand up. But it was too late. Female ghoul grabbed him and yanked him backwards so strongly that he was dizzy. He heard her laugh savagely.

 

"Red blood. Bright red blood. I will dye all over your body with such this beautiful color. Then dragged your organs out and I will enjoy them." - She said while squeezing his neck, lifting him off the ground.

 

Damn. He tried in vain to escape from her hand as hard as steel.

 

"Can you put him down please?" A familiar voice rang out.

 

"Shiro ...." - Kaneki murmured before he was unconscious by a blow banged into the wall and fell to the ground.


	5. The peaceful night

Persistent rain did not stop. The night is colder, quiet. Kaneki is lying on white bed, white blanket across his chest. He closed his eyes, recalled every thing just happened a few hours ago.

 

Kaneki finally woke up. Around him is a pure white: walls, ceilings, blankets, bed sheets, .... The smell of disinfectant permeated the air.

"Hospital" - The first thought occurred to his mind.

 

He must have been brought here after having been unconscious. Today was a bad day. In the morning he was awakened by a terrible nightmare. Then he was attacked by a ghoul. He tried to escape before fainting because that ghoul threw him against the wall. And Shiro. The black-haired boy sat up. He certainly had heard his voice at that time. But where is he? Is he still here? Why did he save him?

Kaeki hurriedly left the bed. He need to find him before he left. There are too many questions he want to ask him. But when he step out of bed, he immediately frowned due to the pain that suddenly transmitted from his legs. The gash of the female ghoul. Kaneki shuddered as he recalled the words of her and imagine his organs was ripped out and devoured. The front door was gently pushed into. A nurse with short brown hair walked towards him smiling:

 

"You woke up."

 

"Can you tell me where is the person who took me to the hospital please?"

 

The nurse express as if she remembered something, eyes widened:

 

"He is your friend, right? As soon as he took you into here, he left. He was really scare people terrified. How to say correctly?"- She frowned and thought - "His body was covered in blood. I even could not see his face. Both his white hair and clothes were dyed with red. His condition looked quite bad. But when he was asked to check the wound, he insisted on checking you before. When he was sure that you did not have any serious injuries he disappeared. "

 

Nurse paused a moment before saying:

"We just turned away less than five seconds and he was gone. The room on the third floor and we make sure that nobody saw him come out from the front door. Everything like a ghost story."

 

Kaneki is silent. At this time he can be sure that it is Shiro. The only problem now make Kaneki feel confused is the reasons why he saved him? A ghoul protect a human. It sounds like a joke. The nurse had left when he did not know. The black-haired boy is staring up at the ceiling untill now. He decided to be awake all night. After going through a hard day like this he do not want to sleep anymore. Exactly he do not dare sleep. He was afraid that he will dream of a nightmare that is more terrible than he did yesterday.

Window rattled. It's very small but he had heard. As the brown-haired nurse said this is the third floor. If there is something banged into the windows at midnight, it only can be the wind, the trees, some animals such as birds or something is not human. Ghost, demon and ghoul are examples.

Kaneki closed his eyes, pretended to sleep. He was right. A white head appeared as his expection. The ghoul has entered the room. Still white hair, white clothes and bare feet. After seeing he was sleeping deeply, Shiro sighed in relief.

 

Obviously he was surprised. Because Kaneki can feel a little jerked in his hand as he gripped his hand for one second before he was gone one more time.

 

"Shiro, right?" - Kaneki whispered.

 

"What do you want Kaneki? You should remember you are grabbing a ghoul's hand. If I want to, you will have no longer hands to do so again. Drop out!"

 

Of course he immediately dropped out, but it did not seem like he will let him go easily.

 

"You saved me tonight, didn't you? Why did you do that? I mean I'm very thankful that you saved me but why a ghoul like you did that?"

 

Shiro stood motionless for a few minutes after the question of Kaneki before he suddenly got mad. He walked quickly toward him. He reached his head and started ruffling his hair so strong that it ached.

 

"Ah ... ah ..." - The human softly moaned.

 

He heard Shiro is hissing through his teeth:

 

"How dare you to ask me this stupid questions? If you had not been naive to the point of being deceived by a ghoul, had I had to save you? I told you many times that you need be careful? do not you understand what I have said before? Or you do not learn anything from the previous experience lesson? "

 

The ghoul sighed.

 

"Sometimes I really want to hit you Kaneki."

 

"But after all you still saved me, didn't you? Thank you Shiro." - Kaneki smiled.

 

"A ghoul fighting for his food. That is not wrong, right?"

 

"I'm just a meal for you? do I have nothing important to you?" - Kaneki's voice sounded hurt.

 

Shiro laughed. He lifted dark haired boy's chin up, murmured:

 

"Yes. you are a meal. But you are the most important meal of me. "

 

Kaneki turned away. He could feel his breath on his face. The two were too close. His cheeks were flushed as if he had a fever. The white-haired boy finally let his chin out.

 

"Every thing were settled? Can I go now?"

 

"Wait!" Kaneki grabbed Shiro's lap. At that time, he wanted to ask a lot of questions such as Shiro really is who? Why he knew his name? Why he protected him, watched over him? Why does he have to wear a mask? Why he knew him is a stranger, he still felt so familiar? ...

But Kaneki said:

 

"Please stay here until I fell asleep okay?"

 

He did not see it but he figured Shiro was raised an eyebrow beneath the mask. He hesitated a moment before nodding.

 

"Okay. I'll stay. You are a prey that is difficult to coddle."

That night Kaneki had slept very well. And Shiro was beside him throughout the night. He sure about that. Because there is no nightmares to disturb him. The rain is still falling, throughout the night. But he did not feel bad anymore. That warmth, that safety, that peaceful make he relax, and they come from only one person, one ghoul. His name is Shiro.


	6. Shiro Kaneki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had bad day. So please don't surprise if there are some bullshit in this chapter.

My name is Kaneki Ken. I used to be a normal college student, live a normal life. Until I encountered a girl named Rize and had a crush on her. Kamishiro Rize is a female ghoul. I knew that after she managed to lure me into an alley and tried to eat me but ended up dying when construction beams fell on top of her. I'm already in a half-dead state from Rize's attempts at killing me, ends up in a hospital, has some of Rize's organs transplanted into my body. This results in me absorbing some of Rize's powers and characteristics, such as a kakugan, powers of regeneration, the inability to stomach human food. Yes. I became a ghoul, exactly a half-ghoul, like her. If you want to ask me why I said these things to you, so that is I do not want you to be confused. There are two Kaneki Ken who live in this world. One is me, the two is human Kaneki...

 

The truth is Kaneki used to die. That fateful day, when I'm sure the lives of both will end, I accidentally saw something.

 

"People call us is death god. And true to our name, we come to this world to take people who have to die into the dead."

 

"What is this place?" - I asked, glancing quickly the cold dark space around us before turning to stare at her.

 

She was wearing a black cloak, raven hair, two green yellow irises flashed as cat's eyes at night. One hand of her was clutching a scythe while the other was holding a handbook.

 

"Don't worry. This is my own space."

 

"Ken Kaneki huh?"

 

"What do you want?" - I said, wrapped my arms around Kaneki as she strode toward us. Luckily, it seems like Kaneki only was unconscious, at least until now.

 

"Nothing. It's just that I'm bored right now. You are going to die today. But I want a little bit of change. So Shiro-san" - she gave her hand in front of me - " Wanna play a game with me? "

 

She asked me to play a game which stake everything for getting second life opportunities. Of course, I agreed. I had no choice. However, the second life chance was not enough, I need to make things better, I want him to be happy. Instead of the two live, she will wipe my existence to return the normal life for Kaneki. It has done well as my desire. 

 

That is me who went to the apartment of Kaneki every night to make sure he was okay. At first I just wanted to check a bit, but eventually I realized I could not stop coming to visit him each night. I could not stop the desire to see him, touch him - the human I adore. And I inadvertently had made mistakes. Only a small misstep, but large consequences. "The black goat's egg". I forgot to open it as before when skimed through it. And he had found me. My Kaneki doesn't observe so well to the point of that. It's like Hide's work. He is more shrewd and sensible. Perhaps that time had changed many things. That's also good. I could give him a clear warning about the dangers around him. Damn shit things and ghouls. My Kaneki is always innocent, gentle, pure and simple. I have never want him to change, like the thing as me. Once is too enough, I can not go back anymore. But he can. And I want him to live to do it, instead my part, according to the wishes of my own selfishness. That's why I strangled him. I need him to fight back, or at least a little violent reaction against me. I got it after all. In this world, if we want to live, sometimes we have to fight. No. Don't do that, Kaneki. Do not always be "it's better to be hurt than hurt others." Despite this means that I am distorting my most precious thing, I still want to do. I have no choice one more time. 

 

 

***

 

                                                                                          

 Shiro was walking down the street in that rainy evening. After meeting at that night he did not come Kaneki's apartment anymore. He should not. The ghoul wandered around like a disoriented man and wait until his time over.

The sky was overcast, gray. Light breeze was carrying the natural pleasant smell of rain. Cold air permeated into thin clothings layer which made him shuddered. Suddenly he smelled a familiar odor. As always: blood and ghoul. He shook his head, felt very sorry for the bad luck guy. Anyway he did not intend to interfere in other ghoul's meals. But the scent after that caused him froze, his lung felt like oxygen inside it was depleted. Kaneki. Shit. He gritted his teeth, traced the smell of it. It led him into a dark alley. Shiro felt an anger flared in his chest when he saw a ghoul was strangling him.

 

"Can you put him down please?" - He said, trying to calm down.

 

Bang!

 

"Okay." - She politely responded before throwing the human into the opposite wall.

 

"You ..." - Shiro growled.

 

"Do not get angry like that. You asked me for putting him down, but you didn't told me how I should put." - The female ghoul shrugged.

 

"Can you let him go? I don't want to be rude, but he's mine."

 

"If i didn't, so what? He's my taste. There's no way I'm giving my meal up easily. Go away kid! Before I change my mind. I hate to be bothered while i'm eating. One last thing, seriously, dropped that silly mask off. " - She said while walking towards the unconscious boy was lying on the ground.

 

The ghoul with white hair as snow let a helpless sigh. Always like that. How could him forget it? These bastard ghouls always do the opposite of his wish. Otherwise he would not have to become like this. According to the time he realized that violence does not solve the problem, but it can solve a number of problems. And everything right here, right now will be solved by violence. Shiro yanked the mask, throw it away while running toward her as fast as lightning. This mask was just more cumbersome to wear.

Being surprisingly attacked, she only shielded herself in time by her koukaku. Two kagune types colliding emitted deafening sound that make anyone's hair stand on end. Four of his claws were trying to put pressure on her with the intention of crushing. They began to cut into the koukaku until leaving thin gashes on her arms and legs. Female ghoul gnashed her teeth, feet slammed to the ground before pushed him back by a powerful force.

 

"You want to die so much? Then let me beat you to die." She said as she rushed to attack him.

 

Shiro had to admit that she is too strong, as a monster. Normally koukaku type is limited in speed but she's fast amazingly. He barely dodged in time and used rinkaku held her koukaku to not to be slashed in half. Maybe those lessons to deal with Shachi before which will be handy again.

 

Bang!

 

The ground next to his foot cracked into a deep line. She just missed. He leaned to the right and smashed her kagune with his. Female ghoul winced in pain. The fight can not last long. He need to finish it soon or this body is exhausted. Just a little longer. A bit further.

 

CRACK!

 

Something was broken.

 

Bingo! Shiro smiled as two claws through the crack in her koukaku, stabbed at the stomach. The ghoul's eyes widened, sank to the ground. Blood spilled out, made her shirt wet.

 

"How?" - She murmured.

 

Earlier at the first attack, half-ghoul took notice. Her kagune healed fairly quickly when it was constantly scratched by his rinkaku. Starting from the original site which is nearest to kakuhou then came right edges - the blade that is probably to ensure kagune always be sharp perfectly. The central part is the slowest healing place. 

That is why he deliberately attacked the same point. Until it cracked enough for him to pierce her stomach. Shiro turned and gave her a kick caused her shot away and swatted on the opposite wall. The pressure made a wall ruptured, falling into a pile of rubble. A thin layer of dust roll up but be quickly ripped away with four claws. The white-haired ghoul slowly went to the side of crumbling wall. Stop a moment before he put his foot on her stomach. A mouthful of blood sprayed from her mouth.

She hissed:

 

"Put your foot down, bastard! I will kill you, I certainly will kill you!"

 

Add one more kick in the stomach then Shiro sweetly said:

 

"Earlier what you were talking about? You're going to kill him, then dragged his organs out and devour them. What a cute pig. What if now I do it to you, drag your organs out and crushed them under my feet? "- Shiro asked - "We can not know unless we try it?"  

 

He started laughing, like a psychopath. Oh God. He still remembered this feeling. The feeling that his hands flooded in the blood and flesh.

As a reflection he began muttering:

 

"twist and cut five fingers with pliers, put the centipede inside the ear, have your insides gently scrambled, one thousand minus seven, one thousand minus seven is what? ... "

 

Everyone who want to hurt his Kaneki should just die. The most precious thing to him, the most important thing to him, who he cherish, respect, love was ruthlessly trampled.

"Die" - his hiss filled with hate, his angry fists threw down the female ghoul. No. Killing is not enough. He have to torture them for them understand the pain they had caused to Kaneki. Shiro almost sank to the deep mad pit if he did not hear a faint moan.

 

"Uh ... um ..."

 

Yeah. Kaneki. He needed to focus. He needed to be taken to hospital. Leaving the corpse was covered in blood, he wiped the blood that stick in his hand off and walked toward the human. His heart sagged when he saw the cut on his leg. He should come earlier and never allowed to take his eyes off him. Gently lifting the pale boy with dark hair into his arms bridal style, he made a fastest route to the hospital. After hearing that Kaneki was fine from the doctor, Shiro immediately left. He should not linger too long, he will regain consciousness soon.

  
The half-ghoul sighed as he took off his bloody kimono coat. He dare to bet that if anyone come across him on  the way home, they will have to call the police. One suspect was wearing a full blood costume, who could be calm enough so as not to do that?   


 

"What the hell is this?"

 

"The camouflage. You have to wear it when you go out, if not, they will discover you, it mean that our game will be detected and my boss will kill you two after he had killed me. "- Her hand pointed a line from one side to the other side of her neck.  
"The kimono and mask will help you look like Ayakashi and will not get attention. There are a lot of things like that appear in this world so we do not bother them much." 

 

"But this mask ..." - He frowned, "So how can i see the way?"

 

"Use your other senses. The senses of the ghouls are much more sensitive than humans, right?"

  
Shiro sighed again, recalled that conversation. Thanks to things she gave him, he must train a skill: go without looking.  
  
Leaving that aside, he should go to the hospital to check Kaneki again. Broke into by mildest way he can, Shiro had entered Kaneki's rooms. And he was caught again.

Are you kidding me Kaneki? After all these efforts of me, you still act carelessly. Hold a ghoul's hand, thanking him for saving you and asked him to stay until you falls asleep. What the fuck was that? How he did not even have a bit afraid or wary? I am the monster Kaneki. Why do not you realize that? You need to stay away from me, as far as possible.

  
But in the end ... I still stayed. Beside you throughout the night. You made me weak, my resolve is weakening because of you. I hate you because of that Kaneki but I also love you because of that. Maybe a part of me, only a small part of me wanted you to remember me.   


 

This world is wrong, not me. But if I can, I really want to stand in front of you and asked: "For Kaneki Ken, I was a wrong in your life or not?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it or not OTL


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